Being a small business owner, means spending lots of time talking with other people, whether they are a referral source, colleague, client or potential client. Aside from creating photos, this is my favorite part of my job. I love talking with people especially small business owners that are doing creative and interesting things with their business. I find I gravitate towards creatives and health and wellness fields. Probably has something to do with my background in dance, theater and, of course, photography.
Since networking is so important to small business owners and even corporate 9-5ers, I thought I’d share a few tips/observations so you can have more meaningful connections. Plus I just attended a networking event where my colleague and I felt exhausted from having people talk at us instead of with us.
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The biggest thing I tell myself is a quote by Jane Fonda, “It is better to be interested than interesting”
To me this means, ask people about themselves. Ask them what they do, how they got started, who their favorite clients are. When listening to them, you may find a similar experience you can share or a common interest. If you can get someone talking about themselves, they will feel heard, they will want to ask you questions. Everyone likes people who are interested in them. The other day I met a woman who is a graphic designer. She mentioned she does a lot of work for Capezio, a dance clothing and shoe company. I mentioned I had been a dancer and did dance photography. Had I not asked it may have never come up. We proceeded to chat most of the night in between other people coming up to us because we looked like we were having a good time. We were.
Try to have conversations not sell them on your services.
Why do you go to a networking event? Why not just send an email to lots of different people you want to meet? I like the face to face connection. The saying, “all things equal, people will always refer business to their friend” Why not? You like them, you trust them. Since networking events have so many people, there is not enough time for someone to know your work so let them know you as a person. You can tell a lot about a person by their body language and how they communicate. Are they talking at you or with you? Are they responsive, knowledgeable, articulate? Are you both communicating? Again ask questions, talk about sports or kids or the fab shoes they have on. Once you get home you can check out their website and schedule a more in-depth meeting.
Be aware of the connection you are making
Walk up, smile, say hi and introduce yourself. Ask them their name, what they do. Really listen and watch how they are reacting. Are they interested? Are they answering your questions or do you find you are struggling to keep the conversation going. If you notice people moving back, eyes darting or seeming to be bored you may be talking to much or they are just not interested. Allow people to talk. If you walk away from a conversation and realize you learned nothing about them other than name and occupation, it is a good sign you were talking at them and not with them.
Remember the rules of improv. Always say “YES and” then add new information.
Try and stay positive and add something to the conversation. Sometimes repeating what they have said and either asking a question or adding to it will help the conversation going. Here’s some basic examples: A) “I do Pilates” B) “I hate Pilates”
B could have said, “Wow I have found Pilates really hard and do not like it much, do you have any suggestions for someone like me?” B has now added to the conversation, he’s basically said yes I heard you and I am going to add to it. You want to encourage the conversation not stop it in it’s tracks.
Really listen to what people are saying.
If you are listening, you are paying attention. You are able to respond and add to the conversation instead of preparing what you are going to say next whether it is relevant or not. That is usually a sure sign of talking at someone and not with them.
There are so many things to remember when networking but I think in a nutshell: be present and be interested.
